*Warning* Long, very negative rant

Such a rotten day yesterday. As my previous posts states my trip was canceled. I didn’t make it to the tailor because the coordinator from the organization that runs the shelter came and basically had me write his report for him, which was annoying the crap out of me, and I got an email from a friend that unhinged me for a moment. I left the office at 5 in a crappy mood and ended up waiting for stupid a dala dala (public bus) for 30mins. While I waited I took this photo.

My view at the bus stop.

As I was standing there I kept thinking on the other side of this ocean is India and how I wish I could swim the ocean to get there and away from here. As my dala dala was approaching I was all set to take a picture, but my battery died and I didn’t have enough time to switch batteries. So you’ll see a picture of a dala dala soon. I don’t know why I keep taking these stupid dala dalas that take forever to come. And while I wait I subject myself to constant staring because for whatever reason (though I suspect it has a bit to do with almighty status they have here) never ride the bus. Balding man (my name for the man renting a room here) asked me one morning how I can get to work and I said the dala dala. His exact words, “Oh you shouldn’t ride the dala dala. There are only black people on there.” Ummm HELLO we are in bloody Africa, who did you expect to see?!?! So here I am, an Indian (dropping the American bit for now since so many people don’t seem to believe me), who is breaking the norm by riding the dala dala and oh yeah I don’t speak Swahili. I can’t count anymore how many times a taxi driver has said “Why don’t you speak Swahili?” I usually calmly say I’m not from here. Today I wanted to yell from the rooftops “I’m not Tanzanian Indian!!!” Which I’m so glad because the only Indians I’ve met so far are lazy, arrogant, and think the world is at their feet. Bet if they left this cushioned society of personal massages, cooks, drivers, even people to turn the light on and off for you when your 2 steps away from doing it yourself they would have a rude awakening.

Needless to say I was not in a good mood on the way home, which only worsened when I realized I couldn’t go in my room and lay down because roomie was getting a personal massage. Not like I would have been comfortable laying down since the bed collapsed on Saturday so one corner of the bed is being held up by a stool and now I have to sleep at a slant until she fixes it, which should be fixed by now, but of course that's expecting too much. So I decided to go to the terrace to capture my surroundings and to hope that the sound of the releasing shutter would release some of my frustration and bring some positivity in my life.

Bought this necklace for a friend, but then I wore it and now I want to keep it. The beads are made out of paper recycled paper. I like how the colors are similar to this blog. Carribean Conservation Chic are you proud???

The gate to my building

I could have lived in that tall building which has a view of all of Dar es Salaam, a pool and a gym. But chose not to live with a questionable man.

The neighboring houses.

My neighbor's rooftop garden.

Those below us. Do you see the baby greenish blue hens??? So cute.

Sadly though, my frustrations only continued. When I tried to get online so I could write this post I couldn't get the wrieless signal at all. I'm fearing I've been caught for stealing and of course the cable that I was told before I rented the room worked, doesn't. Big surprise! So I tried to watch a movie that I bought, but my computer decided not play the dvd, even though it has in the past. So I curled up into a ball and tried to go to sleep only to be awaken at 4am because roomie kept needing to go to the bathroom. So I thought for 2 hours about 2 things...why is roomie so inconsiderate and is all this worth it.

Point 1

Roomie wakes up constantly, think she has some bowel problems, and snores. These things I know she can't control but why must she always turn on all the lights each time she wakes up??? When I wake up I fumble around in the dark, get dressed in the morning in the dark, and walk and open doors and cabinets, etc. as quietly as possible. I kept thinking about how I wish I could just do what I want without any care to the other person. Instead my every movement is to ensure that I don't disturb roomie and then end up complaining and being miserable. I even did this with my Cambridge roommate. Any suggestions on how to break this trend and just live comfortably without scurrying around as quiet as a mouse and always being on guard??? All in all she is nice and makes good food and stays out of my business. She told me I could turn the lights on in the morning, but I just personally can't without feeling like I'm disturbing her and then I get pissed she doesn't do the same for me when she turns the lights on in the middle of the night. What the hell is wrong with me?

Point 2

Why am I here? Is beefing up my resume worth my sanity? Really since day 1 this whole thing has been one hurdle after another from getting a TOR to getting my passport stolen to getting a place to live to now trying to get a residency permit because they won't extend my visa. I have 4 weeks left before I have to leave the country and when I asked the woman at the UN who takes care of these things she told me I'm not staff so she can't help. WTF! I have a bloody contract. I've been pushing this since I got here and my advisor says 'oh don't worry, it'll get fixed if not you can just go to Nairobi.' Yeah like I have 500 bucks for a plane ticket plus I have to get a visa to go to Kenya. So I waited thinking it would happen and now 4 weeks left and I've taken matters into my own hands. I went to the immigration office just to be told to pay 120 bucks for a residency permit and I have to get all these letters from the UN. Long story short, it has been one obstacle after another and I've hit my limit now. Is this worth it? Honestly, I don't think so and if I could do it over I would have chosen a different practicum. I'm learning alot, doing high level work blah blah blah. I'm sick of meetings and paperwork. I want to go back to my barefoot days of being connected with people.

Somebody tell me something good will happen to me soon!!! What does the virgo horoscope look like for the coming months???