Saturday, June 20, 2009

From : ( to : )

Ever have one of those days when you could go back to being a kid. Smiling and laughing, feeling like nobody could ever hurt you and that you could be whatever you dreamed of being. Life was full of dreams without having to worry about the reality and consequences of decisions made. My parents went on and on about my dad's cousin's daughter becoming a doctor and I have to suffer through another round of 'you're wasting time going in development'; 'you could be half way through med school by now'; 'you're the type of daughter other parents are thankful they don't have', and of course 'nobody will ever marry you if you work in development' etc etc. Bet the newest addition to the medical field has no idea how her decision has made my morning hell on earth. I didn't know that when I made this career move 4 years ago that I would still be hearing the same thing and now my dad is even speaking up. Maybe they're right, maybe they're wrong. 

Took this photo in a small village school in Andhra Pradesh. I went with people from a local org, SST, to deliver medicines for anemia and other nutrition supplements. No matter how much my parents try to push me down and break my spirit, I'll remind myself of this little girl and all the others.  Can't wait to get back out in the field...

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Linus' pet cow 

Here's to my efforts to stay calm and smile like this blue faced, red footed cow : ) 

Sunday, June 7, 2009


This was not my plan for the summer. Out of frustration I ran and ran today for 4 miles. I wanted to go back to India this summer or get a job here or an internship with CARE for the summer, but no because of financial constraints I'm home. It's great to be near family, but so frustrating that I'm wasting 2 months that could have been spent working towards a career goal. On top of it, I don't have my TOR for my internship and my mother is hounding me about how I should have gone into the medical field because only then would I be doing something that she approves of. This route I'm on she feels is all about being happy where according to her life is not about finding happiness, but about having security. I can't seem to explain my thoughts that maybe security is all she needs while I may need something else. I think she's convincing herself that security is all that she needs for happiness. All I can say is that I'm not happy right now without having my TOR. Once I get it then I'll have something concrete to work towards, which will ease some of this frustration.  However, for the moment I feel just as I did a year ago, stagnant.  (Hence the photo, which was taken a year ago. Its the embroidery from a sari that I used for an invitation for a family event).