Only kitchen gifts...say WHAT?!

The Stage: Notice the clay pot on the non-existent fire to the right. I thought they were going to do a cooking demonstration. No such luck!

Dancing round and round

The happy bride to be on the left and her sister. That's the cake in front. I thought it was a real basket with vegetables. Looked so real! Good job cake decorator, Ace of Cakes would be proud.

All the kitchen gifts, including a deep fryer....mmm fried chicken

So Sunday afternoon I was lazily sitting around not working on my thesis, but reading The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao (a good read) when my advisor who is letting me kindly stay at her house asked me if I would like to accompany her to a kitchen party. I was hesitant at first because I assumed it was some sort of potluck, lets get together in the kitchen and cook some food kind of shindig. Boy was I in left field on that one. A kitchen party in Tanzania translates to basically a bridal shower where the bride to be only gets kitchen gifts as seen in the photo. She was lucky enough to get a microwave and a washer! As I sat there with my advisor, a feminist to the core, I couldn't help but think how the whole event was reinforcing the stereotype that women belong in the kitchen. When I asked my advisor what the theme of a groom's party would be, she wasn't sure (she's Kenyan and they don't do this there), but she jokingly said "Must be a bedroom party" haha

The party itself was very middle class. I couldn't help but compare the event to an Indian event. Though we don't have kitchen parties for our brides to be we do have some similar traditions. Like the dancing and the feeding of the cake. I did notice that at this event the bride to be feeds her mother and relatives a piece of cake as opposed to us who try to stuff the bride with cake. And they use toothpicks while we get our hands dirty. Side note, I find there is a strong attachment to toothpicks here. Toothpicks everywhere!

The oddest thing I came across in regards to the Kitchen Party is that guests are told how much money to give, in this case 100,000 Tsh about 80 bucks. Really?! I find it surprising that you can tell someone how much money to give and not even a modest amount and then when you go to the actual wedding pay again. Baffles me. Societal pressure forces people to pay up or be ostracized. And not just weddings, when someone passes away you are told to financially contribute to the family as well. All sounds like a money making scheme to me.

I know I must stop the constant comparing to India and Tanzania. 2 different countries, 2 different cultures, but I can't seem to help it. Honestly, I will find some nice things to say about this place. Just in a bit of a sour mood due to the fact I'm still living out of a suitcase.