Frustrations

This was not my plan for the summer. Out of frustration I ran and ran today for 4 miles. I wanted to go back to India this summer or get a job here or an internship with CARE for the summer, but no because of financial constraints I'm home. It's great to be near family, but so frustrating that I'm wasting 2 months that could have been spent working towards a career goal. On top of it, I don't have my TOR for my internship and my mother is hounding me about how I should have gone into the medical field because only then would I be doing something that she approves of. This route I'm on she feels is all about being happy where according to her life is not about finding happiness, but about having security. I can't seem to explain my thoughts that maybe security is all she needs while I may need something else. I think she's convincing herself that security is all that she needs for happiness. All I can say is that I'm not happy right now without having my TOR. Once I get it then I'll have something concrete to work towards, which will ease some of this frustration.  However, for the moment I feel just as I did a year ago, stagnant.  (Hence the photo, which was taken a year ago. Its the embroidery from a sari that I used for an invitation for a family event).