My Next Move

Been a looooong time. Soon I'll be posting photos from Tanzania, my home for the next 6 months. When I think about the fact that all the people I met a year ago at our master's orientation are now scattered across the globe from Tajikistan to Haiti to NYC, I'm in awe. It's exciting to think that by May 2010 we will all arrive back from all the corners of the world to the small town of Waltham, MA to share our experiences. Right now though, I admit I'm a bit nervous about the work and the environment. I've done this multiple times now, but the pre-departure still hasn't gotten easier. It's a mix of emotions that I can't process because I'm too busy taking care of logistics. That's why I love the plane ride. Traveling across the globe provides hours of solitude to process everything so that when I land in Dar es Salaam, I'll feel a bit more organized emotionally and logistically. One thing I really look forward to is hopefully, getting out of my photography slump. Since I've been home I haven't had much desire to take any photos, lack of inspiration and pure laziness. : ) Besides photos, I'll hopefully, also get out of my development slump. I must admit, I haven't been on top of the development world. Instead I've been consumed with playing receptionist, housekeeper, and tending to other hotel matters. Sometimes I feel I live in two different worlds, development and hotel business. I need to learn to live in both worlds without having to create such a huge divide between the two....one day.

I will try my hardest to write more often. A plane ride of processing the last few months should bring me back to this blog, whether people read it or not. : )

Leisure Reading

On our coffee table, you'll currently find a heaping scoop of news consisting of The Wall Street Journal, Newsweek, TIME, and The Economist. With a continuous supply of news magazines and newspapers, it's quite difficult to keep up with them. I finally got around to reading a 2 week old edition of Newsweek which covers what we should be reading now. Within the cover story is an opinion essay on the guilty pleasures of re-reading favorites. Since I've been home, I've read 3 novels and am on my 4th, 3 of which I'm re-reading: Middlesex, The Memory Keeper's Daughter (first time), Great Expectations, and Jane Eyre (currently). I love the comfort of re-reading books, but often feel I should be reading something new, which I do, but not often enough. Part of my reason for re-visiting some novels is that many of the classics I was forced to read in high school I either never read or don't remember. So I've been trying to (re-)read many of them and have found myself loving them now. For instance, I hated Pride and Prejudice, I just couldn't get past the banter of the first 20 pages, but now I love it and re-read it every year. That's how I felt about Great Expectations this summer, its a great novel (if the picture doesn't make sense, you should read the book!).  I'm not as an obsessive repeater as David Gates, author of the article, but I do enjoy re-discovering characters and all the themes that I may have missed the first time around. To those who say repeating books is a waste of time when you could be discovering something new, try repeating a neglected novel on your book shelf and you'll be surprised by how much there is still to discover. 

(The more appropriate question for me right now is when I'm going to put down the leisure readings and get back to 'serious' development readings) 

Snap, Crackle, POP!

Fireworks: enjoyment or pollution? I enjoyed the display last night, but I also hated it when I thought about all the cities across the nation popping crackers increasing the harmful pollutants in the air.  So many contradictions in life, loving and hating things, people, ideas, etc. Is it ok to have such contradictions or should we all either love or hate? Put it that way and its very black and white. In most cases I always see the spectrum of grey in between, but maybe for such cases as these it should be black and white...fireworks or not, simple as that. Hmmm something to ponder. Any thoughts?

The Zoos & I

I started my relationship with the zoos when I was around 10 and my mom and aunt took me to my first zoo in Atlanta. I loved it and still do, went this morning with my mom to the Houston zoo. I try to go to a zoo as often as I can. I know critics of zoos say that the animals should be roaming free in the wild. I also feel that pang of guilt when I see an animal behind bars so that I and so many others can enjoy seeing them. But, there is another part of the story. Many of the animals are endangered or have been rescued and are being protected by the zoo. Also, zoos are a great educational experience on the importance of respecting animals and their territory and of course the all important need for conservation. And on top of all of these reasons, it opens up a world that would otherwise be completely shut to most of us, the animal kingdom. You can read about the Association of Zoos and Aquariums commitments here. So all in all despite that pang of guilt (especially what I felt after seeing the monkey above), I'm not breaking up with the zoos anytime soon

: ) 

 

  

From : ( to : )

Ever have one of those days when you could go back to being a kid. Smiling and laughing, feeling like nobody could ever hurt you and that you could be whatever you dreamed of being. Life was full of dreams without having to worry about the reality and consequences of decisions made. My parents went on and on about my dad's cousin's daughter becoming a doctor and I have to suffer through another round of 'you're wasting time going in development'; 'you could be half way through med school by now'; 'you're the type of daughter other parents are thankful they don't have', and of course 'nobody will ever marry you if you work in development' etc etc. Bet the newest addition to the medical field has no idea how her decision has made my morning hell on earth. I didn't know that when I made this career move 4 years ago that I would still be hearing the same thing and now my dad is even speaking up. Maybe they're right, maybe they're wrong. 

Took this photo in a small village school in Andhra Pradesh. I went with people from a local org, SST, to deliver medicines for anemia and other nutrition supplements. No matter how much my parents try to push me down and break my spirit, I'll remind myself of this little girl and all the others.  Can't wait to get back out in the field...

Linus' pet cow 

Here's to my efforts to stay calm and smile like this blue faced, red footed cow : ) 

Frustrations

This was not my plan for the summer. Out of frustration I ran and ran today for 4 miles. I wanted to go back to India this summer or get a job here or an internship with CARE for the summer, but no because of financial constraints I'm home. It's great to be near family, but so frustrating that I'm wasting 2 months that could have been spent working towards a career goal. On top of it, I don't have my TOR for my internship and my mother is hounding me about how I should have gone into the medical field because only then would I be doing something that she approves of. This route I'm on she feels is all about being happy where according to her life is not about finding happiness, but about having security. I can't seem to explain my thoughts that maybe security is all she needs while I may need something else. I think she's convincing herself that security is all that she needs for happiness. All I can say is that I'm not happy right now without having my TOR. Once I get it then I'll have something concrete to work towards, which will ease some of this frustration.  However, for the moment I feel just as I did a year ago, stagnant.  (Hence the photo, which was taken a year ago. Its the embroidery from a sari that I used for an invitation for a family event).